The Un contemptible Me
When we are babies, we are free because we are authentic. We just be
ourselves without worry until we grow older. As we grow older, we are
taught to be a what man or a woman should be and act. Within our
teenage years, we loss our ability to be authentic and we pretend to
be something else.
Deep inside the gay man is a conflict that is never satisfied because
they are told to be this, to be that. Never being allowed to be
themselves, they pretend to be this or that in order to survive. The
conflict within grows until they feel as if they’ve been put between a
rock and a hard place.
When they are tired of the conflict, this is their day to finally be
free by coming out of the closet. Soon the battle within becomes the
battle of other’s contempt, by pointing a finger and trying to make
them ashamed of who they are by being told to reject themselves. Gay
people are told it is a choice, a fad, a lie taught to live in sin and
anything else to make someone ashamed by forcing a gruesome mask to be
I am no longer ashamed of who I am and even if I am attracted to men,
I will never be ashamed nor feel guilt because I know I am square to
be me. I was taught that if I am square with God, then I am good to
go! That is how I feel, good to go and good to be me!
I am the un contemptible me, the one who walks without fear of being
authentic, no longer wearing the gruesome mask handed to me. People
have said, will say ugly things by trying to make me feel ashamed; I
fought back and I know that will never happen!
I know I am a spiritual person, a healer, a listener to those who need
it. I know I have gifts that I use to bring peace of mind to others. I
know that people try to put a label on it and yet I know it is just
part of who I am, part of my path I am following. Each of us are on
our own paths, and “to each our own.”
All I ask is: “Do we (I) do this out of love or out to hurt others?
I do this because I love myself, I do this because I love you, I do
this because I know what love means. Love is the healing aspect of
life. When we say God is love and we worship God, do we really
believe it when we hurt others, put others down?
This is not love, but we can do better if we remember the golden rule
by “One should treat others according to how one would like others to
treat one’s self.” Everyone deserves to be loved, everyone deserves to
be treated with kindness and so do I!
This is my feeling tonight after being hurt by others. It has been
very hard for me, but because I love, so I forgive. I release and let
go of the painful things said and done. Things that happened ten years
ago, ten days ago, or ten minutes ago, I let go of these painful
memories because they are of the past and I am “Not a victim of my
I am free, free of pain, free of scorns and scuff’s. I am free to be
me, the un contemptible me! I am free because I am authentic and I no
longer worry about how others think of me. I am free because I love
who I am and not because I am not. Truly I am set free, because the
truth will set you (me) free, because I am un contemptible, authentic me!
Message was provided by, Janet Eakin
Author’s name and path held sacred,
Namaste’, Linda Beal and Janet Eakin
Awakening Oneness Website